She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
