You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Success! We fucked roommates!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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