Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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