you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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