so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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