Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
