i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
