barbara walters just said penis...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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