3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
