I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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