Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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