Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
she told me i tasted like america
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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