I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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