Don't you send me to vm
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
did i just pee glitter
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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