i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
