I wish I only lived at night.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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