i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
