Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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