I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
