I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
