Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
