Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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