when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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