His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
