I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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