Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
