I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
