I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You are the jesus of drinking
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
