What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
