Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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