do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
