Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
