i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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