forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
