The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
