just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
