Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
