We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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