I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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