office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
