Just fell off a train. Bad.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
