if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
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