Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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