You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
