question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
