So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i love accidental penises.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
