Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
