I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
