i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize