I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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