The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
